When we finalized Haley Kate's adoption we gave her the middle name Kate. It wasn't the middle name we originally picked, but along the way it became obvious no other middle name would do.
We don't always choose the deep, unexplainable connections we have with certain people. My mom (Kate) and Haley Kate have had a unique bond from the beginning.
When Haley was still a baby my mom mentioned she always thought "Haley bales" when she thought of her name. It became a nickname my mom and Sean call her along with "Hay bales". Apparently Mom had a sixth sense about the type of kid Haley would be (or it was my mom's influence as a Montana grown ranch girl) because Haley Kate loves horses, anything farm related, and wears her trademark pink "cow boots" everywhere. (Whenever she sees a farmer baling hay she shouts out, "Look at the Haley bales! They're making Haley bales for me!" It's so cute I refuse to correct her.)
It’s not that I’m against goals or resolutions. It’s just this cynical streak in me, observing people with lofty lists of New Year aspirations that fizzle by February. We can be quick to shout out intentions without weighing the hard work it takes to achieve them. I should add- I'm just as guilty of falling short and not completing what I set out to do. Honestly, I'd rather avoid big declarations or a goal I might not achieve. It's easier to avoid being resolute, settle into cynicism, and laugh at those who bypass kale for chocolate by January 4.
It can be disheartening to look back when a New Year looks an awful lot like the Old Year. This week I was evaluating my year and wondering if maybe what I thought was a road run was actually a treadmill run. I’ve exerted energy. I feel like I’ve been running. There was movement. Yet this looks an awful lot like the scenery from last year.
It’s easy in that moment to throw in the towel. Effort seems futile. Why be resolute when failure is inevitable?
I found my answer ringing in the New Year with Moses. I completed the book of Exodus in December and noticed something new… as usual. God has rescued the Israelites from Egypt and they are entering the desert years.
He sets a covenant before Israel. He explains to them they will be set apart and lists amazing promises He will fulfill if they obey Him. They are beginning to understand that this powerful God with the Red Sea under His command, the one who drops manna from the sky and brings forth water from rocks, wants to dwell with them.
Just throwing myself out there a bit...