Why I Tell My Kids They're Missed

The door to the suburban swung open and Everett jumped in after a full day with friends.  He was tired but already mid-story.  After we debriefed about his day, he asked what had been going on at home all day.  I told him a few things we had done and then I added, “It was weird to have you gone all day, Everett!  Our house is not the same when you aren’t in it.”
“Really?”
“Yes!  This morning Haley said, “I wish Everett was here to play on the trampoline with me.”  Then I heard Hudson say it feels strange to not have you here when we were eating lunch.  Hobbes definitely is sad when you’re gone-no one wrestles with that dog like you do.”
I went on to tell Everett that his sense of humor is missed when he’s gone.  “Plus, I didn’t trip over any collections all day.  What am I supposed to do without your collections at my feet?” I teased.

This is a typical conversation I have with each kid nearly every time they’re gone for a considerable amount of time.  It’s a conversation I have very intentionally.  Sean and I were involved in youth ministry for a decade and a half.  One thing that broke my heart repeatedly was how discarded so many of our teens feel.  Many of them don’t feel missed when they’re gone.  They don’t feel valuable and don’t know that they have something unique to offer.  Their homes consist of people going separate directions and not establishing any community or united purpose under their own roof.  The lack of purpose contributes to feelings of worthlessness, depression, and a disconnect to community.  I vowed to point out to each of my kids their value and place in our family every chance I get.    

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