I was at a campground north of Spokane, WA outside the dining hall, freshly covered in bug spray.  Various aunts, uncles, cousins, and their small children were playing all over.  A group of them played music in the chapel, a competitive basketball game was underway, and a few of my cousins were chasing their toddlers up and down the hill, with coffee in hand.  Our annual family reunion trips are a big part of kicking off our summer Memorial Day weekend.

I was headed to the chapel and crossed paths with my Aunt Billie.  We squeezed each other tight–a quick hello in passing turned into meaningful conversation instantly, as is inevitable with us.  I asked how she was holding up as she’s been doing a lot of care taking for her parents; my grandparents.  My grandparents live in their own cozy house on shared property with Billie and her family.  The daily care my aunt and uncle, cousins, and extended family offer make it possible for them to live at home much longer than they would’ve been able to otherwise.  We talked a moment about the deteriorating health and memory, the struggle and fatigue of care taking, and also the grief involved.

Then came a pause and the intense look Billie gives that means, “Hear this.  This is important.  Track with me.”  She tilted her head to indicate a story was coming.  “Sometimes I don’t know why they’re still holding on.  I asked my mom if God has told her why she’s still here.  I was wondering what He still has for her."

Fresh out of college, my husband was hired at a new church to get a youth ministry off the ground.  The church was a year old, our marriage was a year old, and we all had more momentum than experience.  We ran like it was a sprint and panted through burn out and fatigue when we realized it was looking more like a marathon.  We made some adjustments and kept going.

We spent a solid 15 years doing some form of vocational ministry.  Nearly two years ago we decided to step away from paid ministry so we could focus on other goals.

I’ve realized many of my take aways haven’t been exclusive to ministry–they apply across the board.  They’ve also been learned the hard way.  I'm writing a few of them here, not because I've mastered them (a work in progress), but because it's important to slow down long enough to acknowledge morsels of wisdom gained along the way.  

1.  If I’m going to lead people, I better know darn well what I’m leading them to.    
"We need to attract the next generation."  "We need unity."  "Let’s build community.”  "Start a movement,"  For what?  What does that even mean?!  Anyone can string together a bunch of buzz words.  What am I leading people to?  WHO am I leading people to?   My primary goal is not to be relevant, cool, deep, or charismatic.  My primary goal is to reflect Christ so people will trust Him, not me.  My goal is to love people; not to impress them.  Our ministry found focus when we stopped fancy sounding mission statements and sought God's heart for loving people.         ​