Last fall got a little crazy.  I was writing a Mentor's Guide to be published along with my book, Brand New.  I was promoting Brand New.  I had many speaking opportunities and was able to teach classes.  My days were crammed with pouring out in teaching and writing.  The instant my kids were home I was pouring into them as we navigated homework, sports, and all the details of raising four kids, often while Sean was traveling for work.  It was intense but all things I was made for.  

Even though I loved all of it, I've been in ministry and parenting long enough to know output with minimal input is not sustainable.  When I was able to get my feet under me again, I determined to focus on input before I burnt out or exhausted myself .  One of my fun resolutions was to read a variety of books.  They had to be interesting but they couldn't all be the same genre.  2018 isn't over, but here are some of the books that have been on my shelf:

Historical fiction is my favorite genre.  Mad respect to authors who spend years researching and imagining to put together believable, compelling stories that suck me in.  I'm even more impressed when I learn history and geography without even realizing it until the end.  I was mesmerized by Doerr's story telling.  Incredible.  It crawled into my dreams at night and I found myself rethinking pieces throughout the day.    

Hemingway's life fascinates me.  Starving writer to world traveler to international spy–he couldn't write anything quite as interesting as he lived it.  This memoir confirms his self indulgence.  Hotchner doesn't skate around Hemingway's sins; he tells of Hemingway in an honest way that made me identify with a man who I have only a few things in common with.  This specific story is a personal one of sweet first love and lifelong regrets.  Even though I was frustrated at his self involvement,  I cried in the last chapters.  

I couldn't very well cry for Hemingway and not follow it with reading one of his novels.  Farewell to Arms is one of his most notable works but I'm telling you–his life was more interesting to me than this story.  His rhythm of writing (particularly dialogue) was a lot to take in and hard for me to identify with.  That being said, historical fiction in time of war draws me so it wasn't a loss.  

Humes has instant credibility in teaching about speeches and leadership with this title.  What are epic speeches without Gettysburg or Churchill?  I tried to read this one in small doses so I could implement some of the points before moving on.  It was still too much to absorb–I'll be revisiting it. 
"Never give in. Never give in. Never, never, never, never--in nothing, great or small, large or petty--never give in, except to convictions of honour and good sense. Never yield to force. Never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy."  -W.Churchill  

I've studied quite a bit about the effects of trauma on young brains.  Most of my studying has focused on the emotional and cognitive effects.  Out of that, I've learned a lot about helping young brains heal through attachment, therapies, early interventions.  When I saw Dr. Burke Harris' Ted Talk on the medical perspective she developed on the effects of childhood diversity, I couldn't stop sharing it.  Watch the Ted Talk.  If you're interested in more background and where the research and experience is headed now, get the book.  

One of my favorite quotes that Moore included in his book was, "The advice I like to give young artists or really anybody who'll listen to me, is not to wait around for inspiration.  Inspiration is for amateurs; the rest of us just show up and get to work." –Chuck Close.  Moore writes about how ego and desires inevitably lead to writer's block and self loathing.  Oh man, I needed to hear that.  The word "mindful" in the title could have tipped me off that the author was Buddhist, but it didn't.  Many of his points still applied to me–I just have a God higher than mindfulness and guidance more sure than my own.  

Another historical fiction book; this one opened my eyes to the Spanish flu pandemic in 1918, made real by dynamic (fictional) characters.  My 13 year old saw it on the counter, picked it up, and was sucked in, too.  I advised against it–the imagery was disturbing to me and I imagined it would be for her, too.  She went ahead and we couldn't stop talking about it.  We ended up doing more reading on the pandemic after we finished the book.

The cover looks like every book my parents had in our home library from 1988-1998.  I didn't completely agree with a few of the Scripture interpretations, but the principles and heart behind finances was helpful.  Financial decisions tend to cause me stress and I've been working (praying) through a lot of my attitudes about money.  Not my pleasure reading, but important in challenging and surrendering things that aren't easy for me.  

This is kind of fun reading...for my nerdy teacher side.  It's the second book I've read by Dr. Bauer.  I'm drawn to her work because she is passionate about education but doesn't love our current educational system.  She thinks outside of the box and challenges me to be intentional in my kids' education, regardless of what form it takes.  I quote her a lot.  

It feels like cheating but I listened to this book!  Audio books are a joke because my life has constant interruptions, but Sean had a brilliant idea to listen to this on our road trip home from Montana this summer.  A couple kids slept and a couple listened with us.  "Love God, love people" is not a new idea but Bob Goff does a magnificent job through story telling and practical application, bringing the greatest commandments home.  I'd still like to skim a hard copy, being a visual learner I think I might retain more than just the stories that way.  

There you have it; random readings of my year.  If you have recommendations for what I should add to my "what to read next" list...have at it! 

The Mentor's Guide to my devotional, Brand New; a 40 Day Guide to Life in Christ, is ready for purchase! 

The job of this book is to enhance the first.  The Mentor's Guide is what I wish I would’ve had in my hand when I started youth ministry more than 15 years ago.  It’s what I wish I had in hand during college when my roommate and I were having conversations about new faith.  It’s what I wish I had in hand every fall when we trained leaders how to effectively lead small groups.

My first book, Brand New; a 40-Day Guide to Life in Christ is a 40 day devotional.  It’s practical and walks through the basics of Christian faith; the story of the Bible, the character of God, and the practices of Christian life.  Each day has Scripture to read, questions to answer, and a prayer.  The book is a great tool for small groups or mentoring relationships because it provides opportunity for discussion and reflection.    ​

I wrote the Mentor’s Guide, because I know it can be intimidating to lead someone (or a group) through a Bible study when you don’t have all the answers, are unsure how to structure it, and feel like a little back up would be nice.  If you think, "I'm a leader and I'm ready!" this book is for you.  If you think, "I'm not a leader and I'm terrified to lead another person!" this book is for you.  

Jesus is clear that we are called to make disciples.  He isn’t just talking to pastors and leaders–He’s talking to all of us!  The Mentor’s Guide will help you walk through the basics of faith with anyone.  In the section of tips for leaders you can glean tips for awkward silence, distractions and how to make the most of your time.  For each day of the study, the Mentor’s Guide has additional Scripture, possible answers and tips for the questions the book asks, and the big picture for the day you’re studying.

To purchase Brand New and/or the Mentor’s Guide, you can check out amazon (click any links on the blog home page or the "Brand New" page on the top of the blog) or at lexhampress.com you can buy both books as a bundle (lexhampress.com often has the best deal).  If you’re considering using Brand New for a large group, contact Lexham Press for bulk purchases.     

Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age. (Matt 28:19–20)

My sister was born 19 months after me, yet somehow managed to snag a few firstborn tendencies.  She took the punctual, straight A’s, high achieving perfectionism.  I’m not sad.  I'm pretty sure I wouldn't want to carry all of that anyway.  For years I thought that being more laid back meant I had dodged the traditional firstborn traits. 
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Now I realize even if I didn’t get straight A’s, I can’t escape my own firstborn tendencies.  I often feel overly responsible for the people I love (they may call it controlling?).  I’m reliable, typically play it safe, and I lean toward being a bit of a moralist; I care a lot about doing the right thing.

The desire to make the right decisions can lead to mustering up effort.  Historically, I’ve exhausted myself trying to do what is right; “I should want to save money and make wise financial decisions.”  “I should go to college.”  “I should get to bed at a decent time.  I should eat more vegetables.” ​

​Twenty years ago this month on a hot August day I drove my ’89 Ford Tempo (with no air conditioning) 268 miles north, following a procession of U-hauls and cars to my new hometown of Lynden, Washington.

We had only visited Lynden a couple times before the move.  The first visit was late spring of ’97.  My parents were in the front of the suburban and I was sandwiched in the back with my younger sister and two brothers.

We were hit with the smell before we hit the town. Lynden is known for it’s dairies and berries, which means spring is the season for spreading manure.  “Oh GROSS!  Roll up the windows!  That is RIPE!”  We were all gagging.
“Does it always smell like this?”
We looked at each other with wide eyes as Mom and Dad laughed at us. My brother Elijah, known to be slightly dramatic, closed his lips tightly.  “I can taste it.  It will actually get stuck in my teeth.  You can CHEW it!”
“Do you think we’d get used to it smelling like this if we lived here?”
“No way.  We better not.  No way.  Let’s always call it.  If we always say “I smell that!” then we’ll never let ourselves get used to it.”

Writing a book while raising four children, managing a household of at least seven people and a dozen animals, doing some teaching here and there, while my husband transitions to a new job…has been no joke.  It’s no joke but it has, at times, been comical.  Sometimes comical in a “Ha-ha” way and sometimes comical in an “Oh my word, I’m losing my hair” way.

Today Brand New; a 40 day Guide to Life in Christ is released!  That means I get the “You are Special” plate at dinner tonight.  It also means you can buy the book on amazon today (or at lexhampress.com if you want to increase my royalties a bit)!

Due to the craziness mentioned above, I completely missed my deadline to do dedications and acknowledgments.  This book needs some acknowledgements because it’s been a work in process for a decade.  The perk of doing this on my blog is I can drag it out as long as I please…

Thank you my cheerleading family.  Sean–it was our partnership in ministry that opened our eyes to the need for this book.  You’ve allowed me the space to keep writing, creating, editing, and listened to me process all of it.  You’ve used your platform to further this work and you’ve even moved over a bit on stage for me to have some room.  Thanks for that.

My parents who thought my writing was amazing when I was nine and writing stories about the models in the Sears catalogue–thank you for watching my kids, helping me put structure to this devotional, and celebrating every little step.

My kids who love to embarrass me in public by proclaiming, “My mom is an author” to people we don’t know–thank you for being my guinea pigs as you study the Word using Brand New.  Thank you for obeying when I put the “Shhh!  Creativity in progress!” sign on my bedroom door.

My siblings (and siblings-in-law) along with my extended family–you have held me up not just in writing a book, but in the chaos of life.  Jasmine and Sommer–you’ll never get back all the hours of life you’ve spent listening to me think through this book.  Just think…I might write another one and we can do it all again!

My lifelong friends–you ask deep questions, grow my faith, fix my grammar, keep me on my toes, and mock me for my boxes of journals.  Thanks for bringing this idealist back to earth and for celebrating with me.

Jeanne Halsey–you were my writing mentor before I knew I needed a writing mentor.  You pushed me when only a few people knew I liked to write.  You taught me endless logistics of writing and publishing.  More than that, you’ve modeled using your gifts for God’s glory and allowing Him to use you how He designs.  Thank you for answering questions I didn’t know to ask. ​

We were parked in John 10, the chapter about Jesus being the Good Shepherd.  I tuned in as our group systematically answered the questions, “What would you conclude about Jesus and His identity from His words in John 10?” “What does Jesus give His sheep and why?”  

Out of nowhere I was gut punched with a memory.  

Hearing the questions out loud instantly transported me to another time I studied John, in this same place but seven years ago.  Seven years ago I was living in a different town. I was in a different discussion group that met in a different room, but the set of questions was the same and that’s all it took to jar the memory.  All year I’ve gone without thinking extensively about the study of John seven years ago…until the lesson on the Good Shepherd.  

​Seven years ago sucked.  Everything was shaken.  I had discovered hard things about my parent’s marriage and ugly things about their past.  I felt like much of my childhood must have been a lie.  I was trying to reconcile how to forgive the past when the past was bleeding all over the present.  I was parenting three very small children while my own marriage had been drilled into the ground.  I was stretched paying bills, stretched in the every day, with hard faith questions that needed answering.  I was disoriented, defeated and beat up.  I was curled up in my quiet time chair with my pile of regrets and “if only”s laid out on my lap. “Lord, I’m trying so hard to be faithful…why can’t I see you being faithful!?”  ​