11/9/2015 0 Comments Orphan Sunday (a day late)We were discussing James 1:27, “Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you,” when my prayer group friends gave me a new perspective: “It doesn’t say caring for orphans will immediately fix their distress. It doesn’t say ‘bring them to your clean life and they will live a clean life, too’. It says to care for them in their distress. I suppose that means we are bringing trauma and distress into our homes when we welcome those in distress.” God commands us to care for orphans and widows. His love pours out of His people, making them able and even passionate to care for children that have been overlooked or uncared for. There are many Scriptures that describe how God adopts us–giving us His blessings, His legacy, and His inheritance. Earthly adoption is often compared to God’s adoption of us. “We want to adopt because God adopted us.” While this is true and a beautiful example that points to God’s ability to redeem and call us His own, it is also flawed.
0 Comments
11/4/2015 5 Comments That's a...Crazy StoryI had just pulled Haley Kate out of the bath and perched her on the counter while I brushed her thick dark hair. She was the inquisitive age of three. She was chatting up a storm and playing with her belly button when her curious eyes met mine.
“This bellybutton had food?” I could see she was recalling a conversation I had with the older kids about food traveling through an umbilical cord to nourish an unborn baby. “Yes, there was a cord with food going straight into…” I playfully poked her tummy, “there!” “Me and Everett were in your tummy? Then we were just-born-babies? Both of us babies?” She cradled her arms like she does with her dolls. I hesitated, realizing quite suddenly that the direction of the conversation required a truthful but gentle response. “Yes, Everett grew in my tummy. Haley honey, do you remember that God gave you a different mommy’s tummy to grow in? You grew in another mommy’s tummy–“ Her eyes widened. Indignantly she protested, “No! I not WANT that Mommy’s tummy! I only want YOU!” As though by voicing her objection, she could change her history. 10/2/2015 5 Comments Confessions of a RepenterIt’s not that I was bad about saying, “I’m sorry”. It’s simply that I worked hard to never have a reason to say it. I made the “right” decisions and got along with as many people as possible. If I happened to mess up I would immediately rationalize and spin it, making myself look better than I was. (Or convince myself what I did wasn’t as bad as the other person. You don’t have to apologize if the other person hurt you worse, right?) If it was a true mistake (notice I said, “mistake” instead of “sin” or “offense”? See what I did there?), then I would muster the ability to overcome and not do the same thing twice. As the oldest child, it worked to distract my siblings with bossiness and determination. When you’re high and mighty you can convince your subordinates that you’re above repentance. Even coming into adulthood I frequently used the art of smoothing things over, thinking I could replace reconciliation with friendliness and compliments. If all else failed, humor bridged the gap. Somewhere in me I believed compensating and doing “better” went further than being broken and repentant anyway. Sean and I have been married fifteen years today. I’m going to give you a shred of honesty here. It’s been hard. I know you’ve heard people say, “we’ve gone through a lot together but I wouldn’t change a thing and we’re better for it.” Eh, that’s not the kind of hard I’m talking about. I’m talking about the kind of hard that says I’d change plenty if I could. It’s less the kind of hard that “we face hardship together and get through it” and more the “our battle wounds are largely from each other and we’ll see if we get out of this alive". It’s not pretty to admit, but there it is. When things begin unraveling in marriage (or parenthood, work, and hundreds of other things for that matter) it’s easy to proclaim, “This is NOT what I signed up for!” and frantically work to change it, control it, or bail on it. It isn’t easy to resolve, “Yes, this might not be what I thought I signed up for but indeed, I signed. I may not be able to change it, control it, or bail but if I believe God can give peace and purpose even in the difficult, why should this be any different?” Photo cred: Evan Oliver 8/1/2015 4 Comments When we are Mid-StoryI grabbed a hair tie from the bathroom while Darla showered. From the other side of the curtain, “Mom? Oh, good. I was just thinking about things to ask you.”
I paused. 10 yr. old Darla is much like me in many ways, This summer is misleading. The blackberries are nearly ripe, the corn is as tall as I am, and my kids' tans are of the August variety. We keep thinking certainly rain is around the corner, but each morning the sun is back. I was raised by a mother who detested the rain and taught us when the sun is out to drop everything and soak it up. In the Northwest that typically leaves plenty of rainy days to be productive. That hasn't been the case this year, so please don't look too closely at my neglected to-do list or cluttered house. We've been busy....
6/2/2015 3 Comments 65 YearsMy grandparents are celebrating 65 years of marriage this summer. Many family and friends gathered in Spokane over Memorial Day weekend to celebrate. We didn’t celebrate my Pake and Beppe “toughing it out” for 65 years and we didn’t celebrate the delirious happiness of two soul mates, although their marriage may have moments of both. We celebrated God’s faithfulness. We celebrated a couple that chose to serve the Lord. They aren’t perfect, yet God has used them to establish something big. My Pake was a bright student from the Netherlands and my Beppe was a tall blonde farm girl from Washington State. They were college sweethearts determined to share Jesus with the world. They worked as missionaries in Nigeria, they pastored multiple congregations, served as Air Force chaplain, established a non-profit for business professionals, and created a safe home and training for homeless women and children in the Seattle area. Yet what I saw at their 65th Anniversary party was not a list of accomplishments or reasons to be proud. I witnessed a couple joyful and steadfast, even amidst trials and pain. I witnessed four generations gathering to celebrate a legacy of faith. My grandparents had eight children. If I had to sum up in a word what it’s been like to be a mother in the last couple months … well, I wouldn’t sum it up at all. I would spew a dozen crazy stories and stare like a deer caught in headlights. Oh, wait. It just came to me. Intense. The word would be intense. Please let me preface. My children are ages 10, 8, 6 and 4. The beauty of this stage is that every one of them loves and adores me. They hug and kiss on me. They miss me when I’m gone. None of them are rebelling and they are all likable people. They pour out their hearts to me and are quick to reconcile. There are much more heartbreaking places to be in motherhood, so I must say this place is sweet. That being said, even sweetness can be intense. This Mother’s Day weekend I am home missing my boys’ last soccer games and missing church because Haley has the stomach flu. This comes two weeks after she nearly lost the tip of her pinky finger when I shut a door, not knowing her fingers were against the hinges in the door jamb. After the ER, trips to our doctor, and two appointments with a plastic surgeon she is healing and we are coming out the other side of that trauma. I’m ending my Bible Study on the Life of Moses this week. I arrived at Deuteronomy 34 and told my sister, “Well, this ending sucks. Moses dies. How do I always forget that?”
I’m only partly kidding. Although I’m familiar with the ending, I get so wrapped up in the people, the story, and how it applies to my life that suddenly the end arrives and I’m not ready for it. Of all the events of Moses’ life, I keep landing in Exodus 33. After the golden calf incident, Moses comes down from the mountain and the only one more furious is God Himself. Consequences are rolling. Moses is grieving over the blatant disobedience of the Israelites; after they had been rescued from Egypt and so quickly reverted to their old ways. God tells Moses that He’ll keep His promise to bring the Israelites to the Promised Land. He tells Moses to lead the people “to a land flowing with milk and honey” but then the kicker, “for I will not go up in your midst lest I consume you on the way, for you are a stiff-necked people.” Exodus 33:3 “Yikes. God is prepared to consume us. Looks like that relationship is over. At least He’s making good on the Promised Land deal. Pack your tents–let’s get out of here!” Moses’ real response causes me to catch my breath: “If Your Presence does not go with us, do not bring us up from here.” Exodus 33:15 4/21/2015 1 Comment The Move I Thought Would Be EasyI landed yesterday. Settled into something that felt almost like a coherent thought. Slowed long enough to enjoy the sun and forced myself to still for a few moments. It felt a little foreign. A month ago as we were preparing to move, I was organized and ready. A move to the other side of town didn’t sound challenging. I was a little lethargic after pushing hard to get my sister settled in the house she and her husband built, but late nights staining floors and cleaning were fun. I was needing a slight re-charge after helping my parents pack, paint, and clean the interior of their new house while my mom was down with a back injury. I knew I’d pull it together for my own move. I had my lists, my boxes, my days mapped out. Somehow with the help of amazing sisters and parents I painted 4 bedrooms and a hall in our new house and got everything clean and ready for move in. Then six days before moving Everett woke up with a raging fever. We stayed home with popsicles, Tylenol, and Netflix for him and packing tape, coffee, and adrenaline for me. Then Haley got sick, followed soon by Hudson. |
Shilo TaylorJust throwing myself out there a bit... Follow MeArchives
February 2020
CategoriesAll Foster/Adoption God's Faithfulness Kids Ministry Random Topics In My Head Random Topics In My Head |